taking a trip not taking a trip

i am going on a trip for 10 days. i say that mostly so my legions of readers will not be surprised by the absence of glittering insights here at tiny engine. i know that all five of you have really come to expect your morning routine: a cup of tea/coffee/diet coke/guiness, tiny engine and a banana. but besides that, i wanted to tell you that after years of travelling (not really world travelling, readers, i am not that cosmopolitan-- but domestic travel to industrial parts of urban cities, lugging borrowed suitcases and one ugly wintercoat--that kind of travel) i have come to realize one thing: i am not good at travelling. well, let me revise that. i am not good at the stuff that leads up to travelling: packing, remaining sane, refraining from alienating everyone i know, managing to fit 17 pairs of socks into 8 pairs of shoes in my rolly suitcase yet still having room for the pair of pants i want to wear on the plane trip home so as to appear the cosmopolitan traveler even though i know i will not wear those pants but will instead resort to something considerably more institutional but more comfortable - - that sort of thing. i am now in the throes of that pre-travel time. bear with me, friends! i have to bring formal wear and also plastic-y items suitable for running around on top of glaciers and close to bears in their natural environment! well, that's what i'm trying to do now, but so far all i have is a laundry basket full of shoes, film (who uses film?), socks and a small tube of minty fresh striped crest gel. i am happy to hear suggestions from my fair readers. i know some of you actually own luggage. i am happy to take some ambien and have you come over here and pack for me too, but i only have 5 left from my prescription 3 years ago. i gave 2 to my grandmother who took them both at the same time, along with her painkillers, even though i warned against it. she still didn't get any sleep. maybe she could come help me pack. except then everything would be wrapped in tissue paper. maybe the ambien in her weird system, combined with the painkillers and god knows what else--defrosted cheese danish--turned it into some form of speed. maybe she could market it under the name grambien.