i usually go home for lunch. or i will sometimes run out and get a yogurt and one of those earthy rolls from whole foods that can rip apart your mouth if you're not careful. or sometimes i will fit in an errand or two--these days, it's usually something to do with the impending prawn. i have gotten very domestic (knitting and such) and well, animal-y.
anyway, i didn't leave the office today, because there were too many things to do, which, happily for me, is a rare occurence. but anyway, that's how it went this afternoon. so i decided to run across the street to get an egg salad sandwich with tomato on squaw bread and a little container of sweet hot mustard. if you've never tried this sandwich, i think you should. and i will tell you that today, the man who made the sandwich managed to unflinchingly pile the bread with a full 3 vertical inches of egg salad. anyway, as i was scurrying back with my weird oversized plastic container full of salty, cholesterol laden eggs, i felt like i was a little rodent, darting back to my burrow clutching some kind of leafy or wormy thing in my teeth. or maybe dragging back some piece of straw or weed for my little sleeping area.
i often think about that as i am driving off at lunchtime to my errands or to home or to whole foods, and i see all the people coming back across the street from the little commissary, chatting and laughing with co-workers, all of them carrying styrofoam or plastic containers full of things. i always think how they are all little animals pulling back birds or grasses to their little compartments. like they have just darted out quickly, paused before they crossed the street, like a little squirrel will do, and then, safely across, they quickly gather their food and run back to their hole. i think of it more often than i would care to say. but today, i was that little rodent. it may have been because it was a little overcast and not quite blustery, but the weather was sort of toying with a pre-bluster. and then there were little pools of pine needles around in the uneven asphalt of the driveway. it all made me think how i'm just maybe a good nail filing away from real animal status. and with this big baby flipping around in there--my gosh, i'm just brimming with animal life.
it doesn't matter that i came back to a computer with a super fast internet connection, or that i had 2 messages on my cell phone, or that i bought some horrible low-fat nabisco confection for dessert, i am still a little animal pulling husks in.
i had thought about telling the people who were waiting for a final version of what i've been working on that i was just still too busy pulling in husks and making a cozy mat for the floor of my extensive burrow system and that i had to eat some worms and things so my prawn would have keen eyesight when it is born, but then i thought that i would probably end up being out of work a few months before my real (and very unpaid) maternity leave begins. so i didn't say anything. i just had my lunch and tried to finish up my (oops! i mean, somebody else's) work.
but it wasn't without noticing how our building really resembles a complex underground structure, with tunnels and rooms, and we can even seal off the entrance during daylight, if we wish. and everyone is chattering and full of industry. and some people have good strong incisors for gnawing.
i am really looking forward to having this baby. not because he will be so great and cute and wonderful and will probably resemble my handsome spousey of all species, which of course he will, but because it will be nice to finally be more like an animal. (and i understand from dear friends that the whole thing is pretty animal-y) i'm not worried about any of that though. because i think animals are some of the nicest people i've ever met. and i would be honored to just do what they do. especially if it means not having to meet someone else's deadline on the friday before a three-day weekend.
have a very nice time this memorial day, and i hope you all drag something nice into your little burrow.
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