the other night i had a fantastic idea. i shouldn't even tell you about it, because if you have nothing to do tomorrow, you will probably go straight to the patent office with this one. first, i will tell you that for years, i eschewed mexican food in favor of cuisine that was onion-less. i had a weird thing with onions where i would get kind of sick if i ate one. so that was it for me and mexican food. i had nice experiences at certain great favorite mexican restaurants that used raisins and things instead of onions, but then i couldn't ever go there with my sister, for example, because she would rather do the running of the bulls in pamplona than eat something sweet together with something savory. anyway, a funny thing happened. lately, i can't get enough onions. red onions in salad and in chicken salad and tuna salad. i'm sorry to say, it's very good. if you think i'm mean by eating chickens and tunas, then read here.
so back to this onion thing. i have been eating so many kinds of tacos and things lately, and also yummy burritos at a good local place, and every time i end up with drippy stuff all down my arm and all over the table and all over my pants. don't get me wrong here, i am a demure lovely eater. i am not that kind of sloppy person, normally. what's going on here is a flaw in the system. so that is why i have decided to invent the sock-o. it's a taco that is shaped like a sock. why on earth should a taco be shaped like a taco? everything comes pouring out of it and you have to do a weird thing where you tilt your head sideways and only sort of tilt the taco to meet your head half-way, but of course, you can't tilt the taco, because if you do, everything falls out, so you do a strange kind of feigning tilting of the taco and an actual tilting of your head. it's very awkward and not very fun to do. well, with a sock-o, or a soc-o (i'm not sure which is the best way to market this) you don't have to do it at all. you could have a soft taco, with a sock-shaped corn tortilla, or a burrito, with a soft flour sock-shaped tortilla. then, for the hard-shelled tacos, the corn tortilla is just shaped like a tortilla cup. a sock, if you will. and everything stays right where it is supposed to stay.
stop laughing. it's sort of like an ice cream cone. you wouldn't laugh at an ice cream cone, would you? neither would you scoop ice cream into a cone the shape of a taco. your ice cream would pour out the sides like a messy taco does, ending up all over your new nice black soft pants that you wore out with your husband for a little late-night mexican dinner. then, you would have to wash just the pants as their own load of laundry when you got home, to make sure that they didn't stain, but then you'd feel bad that you were wasting water, but you had just finished all the laundry earlier that day, so you didn't even have anything else to wash with the pants. so you'd do it. then the next day, you'd forget they were in there, because there was just the one thing, and no laundry basket out to remind you, and they would stay in and end up starting to smell moldy and so you'd have to wash them again, wasting more water and energy. that is why you need a sock-o.
pour the black beans (which are always really the first to jump ship in a traditional taco) and the rice and salsa and sour cream, (if your cholesterol is not flying through the roof even though you are really too young to have that medical problem, but are somehow genetically predisposed to have it, and even though you exercise an awful lot and were a vegetarian for 30 years it doesn't seem to matter)and whatever else you would like to put in there. everything stays right where you put it and it's a good idea.
don't tell me that what i'm describing here is a burrito. everybody knows that just folding over a tortilla doesn't really keep everything in there. especially if it's all sort of cooked up yummy peppers and onions in there, like the place near me does. there's a lot of saucy stuff that drips all over the place.
this is not a folded flour tortilla burrito. this is a sock-o.
now, for my sake, i hope that you have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow so you don't steal my idea at the copyright office.
also, avocado is pretty darn good in there too.
